For those of you who don’t know, Unicorns HQ is based in England. England is funny little country which fuels itself on tea and we often bump into the Queen when we’re in Waitrose shopping for Essential Caviar.
Whilst we understand most things in life (or like to think we do), we’re not 100% sold on Thanksgiving. You Americans get a bunch of time off just so you can go wild in the aisles for “Black Friday”? You have turkey but it’s not Christmas?
WHAT IS THIS MADNESS?!
Using the power of Evan Edinger- our favourite American living in London – we’ve summed up all of our feels.
We’re British. We’re not thankful for much TBH.
So, it’s a holiday where we have to state what we’re thankful for? As a nation, we’re not exactly forthcoming with praise. Sure, we’re thankful for our freedom and Cadbury’s Buttons but then it p*sses it down and we can no longer see the magic in life.
And it’s basically Christmas before Christmas without the gifts?
Turkey = Christmas. Cranberry sauce = Christmas. Can you guys not wait? Or move it to earlier in the year just to spice things up a bit?
Seriously, no presents?!
This. Just this.
What’s with the parade?
It’s cute and all but here in the UK we hate any forced activity that involves us interacting with other people and doing a forced smile. So forgive us here but why would you want to go out into the streets either to take part in a parade or watch it with other human beings in a packed space? If it’s celebrating Indians and pilgrims, that’s cool, but we’re not 100% sure what the point of it is.
Your food is weird AF.
Turkey, we get. Stuffing- load up our plate! But what the f*ck is with yams and marshmallows?! SWEET POTATO AND MARSHMALLOWS?! And why do you make desserts with pumpkins? Pumpkins are for carving faces into at Halloween – they taste revolting. And while we’re on the subject of food, why would you make green bean casserole? Soup, green vegetables and fried onions? Give us a bowl of corned beef hash any day!
Black Friday sounds like hell to us.
If you haven’t already gathered, we’re a quiet lot who quite like to hibernate indoors with a cuppa and several episodes of Coronation Street on. So queuing for hours in crazy crowds just to get a discounted printer isn’t really our bag. We know Black Friday has kinda reached our shores but you can bet Zoella on it that we won’t be up at the crack of dawn to buy stuff we don’t need (that’s what Boxing Day is for)
How do we get a piece of this? Because for all your food makes us want to vom a bit and we hate being forced to have fun, the time off and eating-until-we-burst does sound like a LOT of fun!