Ingrid Nilsen Reveals How She Was TERRIFIED When She Came Out Last Year
29 June 2016, 16:25
We couldn't be more proud of her.
Ingrid Nilson was brought to tears as she talked about her first year as an openly gay woman during her latest YouTube video. The update, which was over 20 minutes in length, was posted exactly one year after her original 'coming out' video, and summarised what life has been like for her in the 12 months since.
This source of honesty and support also comes at a time when LGBT communities all over the world have been shaken by homophobic attacks and online conversations that have compromised the integrity of LGBT vloggers.
Ingrid says, "My best friends have just been these incredible rocks for me, they have been so important in this journey for me". The 27 year old YouTuber started to well up as she described the support given to her by her best friends, and how her relationships have transformed for the better since coming out in 2015.
After releasing her 'coming out' video a year ago, many fans and observers took to YouTube and Twitter to claim the revelation was a lie. A mere play for attention. Ingrid found that experience hurtful and hard, and acknowledges that her battle with resentment is not yet over. She says, "there's this little pin of resentment that I'm still working around. I'm still working through that."
At the start of the video, Ingrid states that she made this video because these huge moments in life are worth honouring and reflecting on. We couldn't agree more. In fact, this valuable and rounded reflection time is clearly documented by mental health researchers as being hugely beneficial to a person's mind, let alone to the LGBT community as a whole. So proud RN.
When speaking directly about how she labels herself with reference to her sexuality, Ingrid says, "today I like to identify as gay. Sometimes I will use the word lesbian. That is what is true for me right now as I sit here and speak to you, and it is really f*****g scary to talk about this because there's so many people who will judge this and that is terrifying."
Whilst noting the topic is scary for her to discuss online, the vlogger goes on to say that she knows this is something really important for her to talk about.
"Maybe a year from now I will be sitting here saying I prefer to identify as queer. I don't know who I am going to be in the future. I only know who I am now and I want to keep myself open to the possibilities in front of me."
On a less positive note, Ingrid highlights how many of the reactions from straight men when she kisses her girlfriend in public are simply not good enough for the female LGBT community. She alludes to the idea that being not only turned down, but also off limits, to a straight man makes them feel emasculated in some way.
She says, "if two women are being affectionate with each other, men will come up to you and treat you like these objects that are there just to please them, and that your're kissing for their pleasure. It sucks."
In September Ingrid announced that she was in her first serious relationship with food and travel YouTuber Hannah Hart, though five months later their breakup led to Ingrid's new relationship with now-girlfriend Jules Kutner.