posted by Benedict Townsend

These scandals seem to happen almost … every day … bro

Another day, another story about Jake Paul doing something ridiculous. Gee-whizz is it fun to write about! What’s happened to Jake this time? Well it seems that the young boy is being sued for causing hearing damage. Yikes.

Jake posted a video in which he got into a car with a really loud horn (??) in order to drive and around and honk at people (???) to scare them (????) because he thought that would make a good video (?????).

 


But it’s no laughing matter

One person is now saying that having a super loud car horn honked right next to them has damaged their hearing. Do you ever just go and sit quietly by yourself sometimes and wonder where humanity went wrong?

jake paul sued

This is no trivial matter for Jake, who happened to trap himself by providing a ton of evidence of the alleged honking as he, you know, literally filmed himself doing it. On video. A video he then uploaded to the internet. The video is also, as you can see, still online (??????)

According to TMZ: ‘the man is suing Jake and his company for damages for the injury and emotional distress.’


Now please enjoyment of this simulation of how we believe the trial will play out:

Jake: I didn’t honk at him, Your Honour, that’s fake news.

Judge: There’s literally a video of you doing it.

Jake: That video is fake and was created by RiceGum to frame me.

Judge: I believe you and also I’m going to award you 1 million dollars because it’s 2017 and nothing makes sense any more.

Jake: *turns and looks directly into the camera* It’s all day, bro.

Judge: That’s not even the correct-

Jake: *interrupting* It’s ALL DAY, BRO.


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