posted by Benedict Townsend

Vine hasn’t vanished, it has changed. Here’s a rundown of what’s new

It seems that the endless saga of the app once known as ‘Vine’ is never-ending. We reported last year that the short-video app would be killed to death by its parent company Twitter and this indeed came to pass when the app had its last day on the 17th January. And yet, the story continues.

For the app was not simply killed off, as expected, but rather it was transformed like a caterpillar transforming into a butterfly – (except it’s a butterfly that’s somehow less exciting and more limited than the caterpillar). If you update your app, this is the new splash screen that will welcome you:

 

Yes, Vine has not died so much as changed. The app is now known as ‘Vine Camera’ and even has a new, snazzy black look, to go with its bold new direction:

 

vine-camera-phone-pic

 

Vine camera will allow you to record video, but instead of then uploading the video to Vine, you have the choice to upload it straight to Twitter or to simply save it to your phone. The camera layout has stayed the same as it was on old-style Vine:

vine-camera-example

However – more in-depth features Soundboard, Snap-To-Beat and Featured Track have all been removed. Here’s another curious detail: All video (not just Vines) that are posted to Twitter that is under 6.5 seconds long will automatically become a looping video. Here’s a dramatic reconstruction of how we assume that conversation must have gone:

 

“What now, sir?” Asked the Twitter employees to their CEO.

The Twitter CEO stood stock still, staring in silence over the digital wasteland that was Vine; once a triumph of ultra-short video technology, now a desolate graveyard filled with music loops and strangely racist skits. A monument to the hubris of mankind. “The videos on Twitter”, he said, in a barely audible whisper. “Loop them.” 

“But .. but sir,” they replied, “Vine is gone. Looping is over.”

“ALL VIDEOS MUST LOOP” screamed the Twitter CEO, slamming his fist on his solid gold desk with enough force to shatter several nearby Twitter egg profile pictures.

“He’s mad, MAD!” Cried the helpless Twitter employees, cowering behind a giant plastic statue of the Twitter bird.

“The videos!” He intoned. “Shall loop. Always loop. Always loop.”

The employees, as if hypnotised, suddenly began to chant along too: “Always loop, always loop!”

And thus it was so. And lo, did all the videos loop from thenceforth on and continued to do so, until the end of days.

The end?