INVESTIGATION: Is Dan Howell Actually On Fire?
7 July 2016, 16:04
We're here to answer the big questions.
Over the last 10 years, Dan Howell has teased and tormented us on YouTube with a screen name that is just begging to be day dreamed about - Dan Is Not On Fire. However today, on this glorious day, we've decided to dedicate some serious manpower into an investigation that will try to find out if Dan has ever in fact been on fire, because we're sick of fantasising about it... we want answers!
We've rounded up various gifs from across the web that will help us determine whether Dan Howell is flame retardant or not, in the hopes that we'll be able to sleep tonight safe in the knowledge that he has always been free from burns. Over the next few minutes, we plan to answer the age long question of whether Dan has ever been on fire. You're welcome.
To kick things off, we can say with absolute certainty that he's not on fire here, but about what he actually is doing... we don't have a single clue tbh.
Here we can see Dan surrounded by a body of water. Is it possible for someone to be on fire when they're stood in a lake? No. Therefore, we've almost closed this case.
His bedroom may be impossibly tidy, but it's certainly not on fire. Once again we're left asking ourselves why we're even writing this article and conducting this investigation.
Dan's t-shirt may be covered in the tiny explosions of trillions of stars and planets, but right here on Earth he is absolutely fire free right now.
Basic answer; Dan is not on fire here. Complex answer; My heart is melting as if extreme heat has been applied to it right now. Am I the one that's on fire? Has this all been an elaborate plot to look at myself?
You don't see the scary fingers of fire in this gif, do you? Is it possible that Dan isn't on fire here as well? Was there any point to this entire case?!
Here's a gif of Dan laughing at us for trying to figure out if he's ever been on fire. It's as if he made that screen name on YouTube to torment us, to make us fantasise about seeing him on fire. Well no more Dan. We've given up on trying to find an answer now. We're leaving this investigation up to the real professionals...
Oh wait, now he's on fire. Investigation solved - you can all go home now folks. He may have been fire-free over the past few images, but we can officially announce that Dan HAS been on fire before and that's all that matters, really.