posted by Hollie-Anne Brooks

Louise also talks about her first screen name, Hazel Hayes and big pants in this exclusive interview!

We recently caught up with Louise Pentland over tea, cake and a bit of cha-cha dancing as she took part in raising money for Stand Up To Cancer. We thought it might be fun to grill Louise on a whole bunch of topics including dating, swear words, Dan Howell and James Bond…

Read on and prepare to laugh far too much.

Louise Pentland interview

 

We The Unicorns: What are the three worst things about dating?

Louise: When they don’t look like their pictures online, when there’s no conversation and when they don’t laugh at your hilarious jokes.

 

WTU: Name an animal you have no time for.

Louise: Wasps! They don’t make honey… what is their point? What do they do?!

 

WTU: Which fictional character are you most like?

Louise: Bridget Jones.

Louise Pentland interview

 

WTU: How many alcoholic drinks does it take to get you sozzled?

Louise: Three, I’m a lightweight.

 

WTU: What’s your go-to karaoke song?

Louise: I like to butcher all the songs, honestly. Everyone enjoys a bit of I Am Woman, that’s a good one. And Whitney Houston; no one can sing it, least of all me, but I do like to give it a go.

 

WTU: Who is most likely to appear on I’m A Celebrity, Get Me Out of Here- you, Zoe Sugg or Phil Lester?

Louise: I would hate it and so would Zoe; so I’d put Phil Lester in the jungle. He’d be so good at it – he’s a good person so he’d try really hard at the challenges to get the stars, whereas I’d be like ‘Screw this, we’ll starve’.

 

WTU: Is Dan Howell the dankest meme?

Louise: OK, I’m not down with the kids. What does ‘dank’ mean?

[WTU explains]

Louise: Dan Howell is a man… he is not a meme. He is my friend. Dan Howell is a man.

Louise pentland interview

 

WTU: Noted. Now, which Kardashian is your fave?

Louise: I don’t know enough about the Kardashians, but I think they’re shrewd businesswomen and very beautiful; so good on them for being powerful women.

 

WTU: Very diplomatic. What would your burlesque name be?

Louise: Lady Louise? I think I’d be really crap at burlesque!

 

WTU: What did you last search for on Google?

Louise: The Pret A Manger menu.

 

WTU: And what was your first online screen name?

Louise: Oh my god! I think I thought I was really, really hilarious so I had something about whales. I had a funny whale joke on MSN which I thought was hilarious, but nobody commented on it. But I still am today proud of that joke.

My whole screen-name was a whale joke… that says a lot, doesn’t it?

Louise Pentland interview

 

WTU: What’s your favourite swear word?

Louise: I’m going to go for a classic ‘f*ck’.

 

WTU: Spanx or lingerie?

Louise: Spanx, obviously.

 

WTU: Who is the most eligible bachelor of all time?

Louise: Joe Sugg. Wait, no, Dan Howell. Dan Howell is a sexy man.

 

WTU: What three beauty products could you not live without?

Louise: I really like the ‘Gorgeous’ moisturiser by Lush, the Khiel’s pear flavoured lip-balm and YSL ‘Shocking’ mascara.

 

WTU: James Bond or Mark Darcy?

Louise: Mark Darcy every time! James Bond would be a terrible boyfriend, think about it. You’d ask him round for dinner and he’d be like ‘No, sorry, I’ve nipped off to Peru for an assignment’. He’d be shocking. You’d never know where he is, you’d never know if he’s dead or alive. No way.

 

WTU: Exactly how hot did Doug Armstrong look in his pants for the Stand Up To Cancer charity walk?

Louise: Any man in his pants looks hot to me.

 

WTU: What’s the first thing you do on a morning?

Louise: Check my phone for texts, Facebook and Twitter.

 

WTU: And the last thing at night?

Louise: Check my phone for texts, Facebook and Twitter.

 

WTU: Why is Hazel Hayes so god damn talented?

Louise: Because she’s friends with me!

 

WTU: Which Britney was the best Britney?

Louise: Britney when she wore that catsuit for Toxic.

Louise pentland interview

 

WTU: Finally, which member of One Direction would you most like to snog?

Louise: I’d be happy with any, would probably go for Zayn. Failing that: Niall, then Harry, then Liam and then Louis at the bottom.

WTU: Thanks, Louise. Love you always.

 

What would you ask Louise Pentland if you had the chance? Let us know in the comments below.

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