Here's How You Should - And SHOULDN'T - Talk About Sexual Abuse Allegations
14 April 2016, 12:20
Two VERY different videos surrounding Toby Turner's sexual abuse allegations show the internet needs to have a better conversation.
Yet another two new videos inspired by the Toby Turner sexual abuse allegations have been uploaded within the past couple of days; both of which approach the subject in very different ways.
Sex education expert Laci Green, who has actively spoken out in support of survivors of abuse and in condemnation of those accused in the past, uploaded an indirect video discussing why we immediately don't believe survivors of sexual assault when they come forward with their allegations.
The stats are hard to ignore: apparently only 2-8% of rape reports are false, not to mention the 68% of sexual assault cases that aren't even reported due to the pressure and stigma that comes with doing so. Combine that with the massive fandoms that many alleged abusers seem to accumulate, and it appears actually being able to prove a rape becomes an enormous and emotionally exhausting process - which would make you wonder why any woman would put themselves through it, if it weren't true.
However, if stats and education aren't your thing, you might prefer something more anecdotal and victim-blamey. In which case, Gamer and model Tara Babcock has got your back.
Tara took to her vlog channel to share her own personal experiences with Toby Turner, which was inspired for her need to protect Toby from getting a "bad rap" by statements from the other women that made her "cringe". The 17-minute vlog mostly involved some graphic details of their "very sexual" relationship that sparked in 2013.
She corroborates the allegations of Toby's issues with monogamy, drugs and a fixation on sex, and recounts moments where she felt pressured by him to take MDMA. But she goes on to contrast her own experience with the women who have released statements against Turner, suggesting women like April Efff and Amelia Talon are "playing victim" and "lacking self-respect". Survivors of abuse and their supporters are more than used to language such as this, due to the stigma surrounding it.
Her video was uploaded on Monday and has since had over 40,000 views. So far, seemingly, no-one else connected to the allegations has acknowledged it.
So far the reaction to both videos has been very telling - while both videos cover the event in very different ways, the less productive comments on both videos appear to be strewn with anger, apologism of Toby with little to go on other than "he seems nice", and of course, waves of blatant misogyny towards both of the women in the videos.