January is unacceptable. It is the opposite of goals, it is an own-goal. Over the next 44 pages, I will be presenting what I feel is a convincing argument for why January is the worst month since September – and I’ll be doing it with GIFs of YouTubers:
When It’s Dark By 4PM
The sun, like my youth, is now but a distant glimmer in the past. A lone star, indistinguishable among a galaxy of memories.
It’s Cold, My Friend. So Very Cold
You know when it’s so cold that you can feel it in your skeleton? THIS IS A WHOLE MONTH OF THAT.
What’s That? Christmas And New Years Are Over And Now We Just Have Winter?
Just pure, unfiltered winter?
I’ll Just Retreat Into A Human Cocoon, Thanks
I will return in spring, as a beautiful butterfly.
Summer Is Like Six Months Away? R U Serious?
R U serious rite now.
We know, Dan. We know.
… Unless You Live Down Under Of Course
How dare you have beautiful summer. I hope you get eaten by a koala.