7 Things Your Parents Have Definitely Said About YouTube

5 December 2016, 15:15 | Updated: 17 July 2017, 12:22

We the Unicorns

By Benedict Townsend

'You're a fan of that Dan and Bill aren't you?'

You're a fun youth; you enjoy music, friends and YouTubers. You're hip, you're cool, you have a razor scooter and a bucket hat, you're down with the sickness. You just get it - but hey, you know who doesn't get it? That's right - ya parents. May the gods bless them, but damn do dear old mom and pop just seem physically incapable of understanding quite what YouTube is.



Now, to celebrate their adorable befuddlement, we have collected together a bunch of things we can almost guarantee have passed through your parents sweet lips at some point or another:

1. "What is Vlogging?"

It's kind of remarkable that even now, after all these years, your parents cannot fathom even slightly what a Vlogger is. Don't get us wrong: They've got a pretty good idea. If you ask them to describe what they think a Vlogger is, they can probably give you all the ingredients: it involves cameras, people film them 'in their room', they 'don't really do anything' (their words not ours). Despite all this, though, they still do not truly comprehend what it's all about. It's like when they describe literally every online activity as 'Googling' - they've basically got it right, but it's not quite there.



2. "And they actually make money doing this?"

Yes mum. Yes, that much. Adverts on the videos, mum. Yes I have considered getting into myself.



3. "You're a fan of Dan and Bill, aren't you?"

It's Dan and Phil. You know this, we know this, the Dalai Llama knows this - but your parents? Nope. It's hard to track exactly why your parents are incapable of learning two, very common, names, and yet the ability entirely escapes them. It's like they've been cursed Rumpelstiltskin style, and are now incapable of even uttering the names Dan and Phil, lest they be cast into a realm of darkness and Sims characters, never to be seen again. Sometimes you wonder if they're doing it on purpose to play a prank on you. One of those pranks that lasts for your entire life and doesn't seem to have a clear point. It's eight collective letters but it might as well be Chinese are far as your dad is concerned. Mind you, he's probably too busy complaining about Dan and Phil's bloody fringes to actually remember their names. He reckons they need a good haircut; we reckon he wishes he had locks like that.



4. "Did you know that that Zooella has her own products?!"

"I saw them in Boots! She must be making a fortune!"



5. "Why don't you watch some real TV?"

What a strange circle we have navigated to reach a point where television, once the scourge of parents, has now become the respectable media source compared to the wacky and crazy  world of YouTube. If this keeps up, it won't be long before your yelling at your own kids: "get off that damn holodeck and come and watch some PINOF like a grown-up!"



6. "I think it's a nice thing for you to be into"

Okay so this one is a little cheesy and it might not apply to you (hopefully it does though), but when the Unicorns team was at Summer In The City, we had a chat to some of the dads there (we even made a hilarious video of it), we found that their reaction to seeing a YouTube convention was ... super nice? Yes, every single one of them seemed to be overjoyed that their kid was involved in a community that's friendly, creative and open-minded! Good times.


7. 'PootyPie, BoobyGuy, Cutiepie etc, etc'

Look, we know that PewDiePie isn't the most conventional name in the world (see number 3), so we can kind of forgive the parents for not being able to quite nail this one. To be honest 'that loud Swedish guy' is close enough, so we think we'll give them a pass this time.