Definitive Proof That Dan Howell And Brendon Urie Are The Same Person

13 October 2016, 11:07 | Updated: 17 July 2017, 12:21

We the Unicorns

By Benedict Townsend

We're blowing this case WIDE OPEN.

After months of in-depth investigation, we're finally able to present you with this bombshell of an revelation. Despite official stories to the contrary, we believe that there is indisputable evidence that proves that Daniel 'Dan' Howell and Brendon 'Brend' Urie are in fact the very same person. Now, you probably just simultaneously cried and threw up because of the sheer shock of that statement but stick with us! We have the evidence right here and it simply cannot be argued with:

Exhibit A: The Fringe

Oh would you look at that, it's two people with a suspiciously similar fringe. Coincidence? We think not. Both of these supposedly separate people can be seen here rocking precisely the same fringe - and in the exactly the same place: on their head.


Exhibit B: The Glasses

The exact same glasses? Two 'different' people own the example same very specific pair of glasses? We find that extremely hard to believe - and quite frankly, we don't believe it. There's two pictures here, but only one person.


Exhibit C: The Love Of Golden Clothing

Smash Mouth once said that 'all that glitters is gold' and while that statement was made in their smash hit song 'Shrekking around the clock' from their album 'Shrek Your Way Into Y2K', it still applies here. Are we really to believe that Dan and Brendon both decided to order a 24 carat solid gold suit completely coincidentally? No, that's crazy talk. This is just one person. Wake up sheeple, then stay woke.



Exhibit Nine (in the afternoon): Their Smart Attire

When asked to dress up in a fancy fashion, both of these lads selected the same outfit (in these two pictures). Har har! We cannot even imagine what the faces of the Dan-niers look like now and they try to Dany the truth. These 'people' are not 'people', they are 'a person.'