The 8 Stages Of Watching A Dan Howell Video
7 July 2016, 14:39
We lost our chill.
Being a Dan Howell fan is pretty freaking scary most of the time; he's either tweeting about your faves, stalking you on Tumblr or posting ridiculous videos on the Internet with his best friend Phil. But let's be real, there's an art to surviving one of his videos and we totally feel the different emotional stages you have to go through in order to survive just one, so lets count them down.
We've rounded up the 8 emotional stages that we go through on a daily basis thanks to Mr Howell, but if you think you experience anymore, please let us know in the comments below!
1. Emotional Breakdown
It's been a week since the last Dan video, so you're currently giving way to intense waves of stress and anxiety flaring up because of the long periods of waiting. You start to wonder if there will ever be a Danisnotonfire video on his channel ever again. That is until you get a notification on your phone and suddenly...
2. Complete Shock
A WILD DAN HOWELL VIDEO APPEARS. Out of nowhere your blood pressure drops to a healthy level, your acne clears up completely and your debt is totally cleared because there is now officially a God looking down on you. You've been hand delivered a brand new 10+ minute Dan video to watch on repeat for the next 48 hours and you physically don't know what to do with your limbs anymore.
3. All-Consuming Anger
Okay, so we have a new video... but why couldn't have this been posted earlier? Or yesterday? OR DAILY?! Why can't Dan be a daily vlogger? Why do you even bother stanning for a guy who can't fulfil your basic daily requirement to hear his voice?! You're literally shaking with anger at this point even though you've already clicked play and are crying with joy.
4. Indescribable Pain
Suddenly you're hit by the crippling realisation that this video will end soon and you'll be plunged back into the realm of waiting once again. You need to absorb as much of this video as possible before it just gets put on repeat and that 1st time magic is lost until the next video. Why must Dan torture us with such short videos?! This is one of the worst stages of them all.
5. Total Disappointment
Aaaaaaaaand here comes the disappointment. There's no Phil, no ladders and no freaking memes. What even is this video good for?! Why did you wait so long for this stupid video of a gonk just sat talking to his camera? Why does this do so much to me emotionally and will there ever be a chance for me to escape this dank meme lifestyle?
6. Agonising Grief
There's only 30 seconds left of this video. It's all going to be over soon and then that's it. You're lost once more in the abyss. You're a Dan Howell fan with no new Dan Howell content, which easily makes this one of the worst stages to exist in. PewDiePie gives his Bro's a new video every single day... is there any chance that could happen to us? Your one true love only looks at you a few times a month and it's heart breaking.
7. Peaceful Acceptance
At the end of the day, you got a new Dan video and that means your day has been infinitely better than every single other day without one. Lets just be thankful that you were on the Internet at this exact moment as you could receive this gift from the God's ASAP. He may not post everyday, but at least he cares enough to come back.
8. Internalised Hope
The video may be long over, but it's time to start hoping that the next video will come even sooner than the last. You start to be thankful that at least we know Dan is alive and well, but now it's time to go stalk Phil's channel to see if he pops up over there because now you've got the itch. If you find nothing, at least there's Tumblr and the fandom to help you survive all these stages once again.
Want to see what other problems we've been dealing with in the YouTube community this week? Well, it might not be as dramatic as your emotional turmoil through a Dan Howell video, but our SLAY or NAY series rounds up all the latest news and gossip from the YouTube world that you need to know about. So why not subscribe to us and keep your eyes peeled for a new video every Tuesday - you do not wanna miss out on this!